Her Wish, My Feelings
by sapphire wind
Summary: Yuki wants answers to his questions. It comes in the form of his friend and his dream.


_'Everything's been settled for a while and yet... I still can't remember much about Luka...'_ Yuki mused while looking at the garden. He was sitting on the rooftop with his feet dangling over the edge.

He wanted to remember just who he was to Luka for the Duras to always push himself to the limits while protecting him, why Luka was willing to put up with everything even though he isn't a Zweilt guardian and why he always had a sad look in his eyes whenever Yuki was questioned if he remembers something, anything at all from his previous life.

_'I want to know... I want to remember... but Luka won't tell me anything.'_

"Yuki, it's almost time for dinner." Shusei approached the younger teen who looked at him with a small smile.

"Thank you, Shusei-kun."

Yuki turned from his spot and Shusei sensed that something was bothering the God's Light. It was quite evident when he saw that the smile he was given before didn't reach the other's eyes.

"What's wrong?" He asked, making Yuki look at him.

"Shusei-kun, you've also been a guardian in your previous lives, right?"

Shusei stared at the teen, already having an inkling feeling as to where the conversation would be going.

"That's right."

"So... you've known me from my life before this, haven't you? Can you tell me anything about who I was before? Please, Shusei-kun." Yuki had his hands clasped on his lap while looking at the God's Eyes.

Shusei approached Yuki and leaned on the wall beside him and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"I'm sure Touko already let this slip before but you were a girl in your previous life, Yuki. You were very kind, gentle and downright stubborn. Whenever it was Hotsuma's turn to guard you, he's always on the verge of pulling his hair out because of how stubborn you were. When you decide to do something, you'd push through it no matter what. You were very determined yet also very fragile because of your powers and our sins that you had to bear."

Yuki lifted his gaze to Shusei who was staring at the door before looking back to his clasped hands.

"In your life before, you told me that it was at a clearing in the woods where you first met Luka. He was still the loyal servant of the demon king that time. The both of you often met with each other afterwards and then... you fell in love with each other and Luka became your lover."

"Eh? Luka was... my lover...?" Yuki clenched a hand over his heart.

Tears welled up in Yuki's eyes as he remembered all the times that Luka protected him from getting hurt, the times Luka smiled at him and the times Luka promised him that he will never betray him. It was never just the contract that bound Luka to him. It was Luka's love that made him remain by his side.

Shusei knelt in front of Yuki and wiped his tears before setting a hand on his cheek.

"I'm sorry but that's all I can tell you, Yuki. If there's anyone who knows everything through and through, it's Luka."

Yuki shook his head and smiled at Shusei.

"No, thank you, Shusei-kun. Thank you for telling me."

The God's Eyes smiled and helped Yuki to stand up.

"Do you want me to just bring your dinner into your room?"

Yuki shook his head and they both left the rooftop.

Dinner was a lively affair with the usual bickering between Hotsuma and Kuroto, which made their respective partners let out a long-suffering sigh before stuffing food into their partners' mouths. Senshiro fed Kuroto some cream puff while Shusei fed Hotsuma some steak. Of course, their actions reduced Hotsuma and Kuroto into a blushing, stuttering mess because of the indirect kiss.

After dinner, Yuki retreated to his room and laid down on his bed before closing his eyes.

_'I really want to know... Luka's been suffering because of me without my knowledge that we were lovers from before... I... I want him to be happy and to be able to heal his pain... I want to remember...'_

In his dream, he was sitting on the grassland overlooking a clearing. The river was tranquil and the moon was reflected over the calm surface.

Yuki looked up upon feeling the presence of someone sitting beside him. He gasped when he saw a woman with long ash-brown hair and gold eyes.

"Y-You're..."

"Hello, Yuki. We finally meet."

Right in front of Yuki was his previous self, the woman Luka loved.

"How..."

"This should've been impossible since I've been dead for a long time but here I am right now with you." Lady Yuki smiled as she looked at her male counterpart who was still in shock.

"I heard your wish... about wanting to make Luka happy."

Even though it was his previous self in front of him, even though the both of them were one and the same, he couldn't stop the pang in his chest when she mentioned Luka.

"I... I've unknowingly hurt Luka and he never allowed me to heal the wounds he suffered whenever he protected me... All I wanted was to regain my memories and for Luka to be happy..."

"It was my wish to forget all the heartache from my lifetime... Since you are me, I figured you'd be burdened if you retained the memories I have. I don't want you to go through that pain. It was my wish to be able to start anew with everyone, for this battle that lasted a thousand years to end..."

"What about our memories about Luka...?"

"Even though I loved Luka, I couldn't make him happy in the lifetime I had. There was only too much that I could bear and died during the war that I... I wished to become a boy in my next lifetime. I wanted you to never remember everything from our previous lives so you can live life the way you want it and end this war. I know you can take care of Luka. You love him, don't you? Even without your memories about him from me, you still fell in love with him."

Yuki looked down and Lady Yuki hugged him.

"Yuki, please make new and happier memories with everyone. Live this lifetime as one of your own. Discover your power and get stronger, strong enough to protect everyone I wasn't able to save and... please take care of Luka. At least tell him that I'm not blaming him for not being able to protect me in the past and please let him know of your feelings and love him with all your being."

Yuki wrapped his arms around his female counterpart and nodded.

"I will. I'll do everything that I can."

"Thank you, Yuki. Thank you."

Yuki stirred from his sleep when he felt something furry tickle his neck. He opened his eyes and saw Sodom curled beside his neck.

"Yuki?"

Yuki turned his head and saw Luka sitting on the edge of his bed.

"Luka..." Yuki slowly sat up as to not disturb Sodom from his sleep before shifting closer to Luka.

"Are you alright?" Luka asked and Yuki nodded.

"I just had a dream... I was at a clearing in the forest and then... Yuki- I mean, Lady Yuki, the me from my previous life appeared."

Luka's eyes widened a bit and Yuki looked at him with a smile.

"We talked about a lot of things and she told me what I wanted to know, like why I couldn't remember anything from the past and what my wish was at that time. I was eager to find out, you know? Ever since I learned I had a previous life, I wanted to know as much as I can, so that I can help out."

It took a little while before Luka snapped out from his reverie and looked down after hearing what Yuki said. Yuki cradled the Opast's cheek in his hand.

"In my life before this, I never blamed you, Luka. I wished to be a boy so I could end this war. I loved you then and I… I still love you now."

The Duras turned to him and Yuki closed the distance between them, kissing Luka on the lips and leaning his head on his neck after pulling back.

"I love you, Yuki. It was your soul, your kindness and your gentleness that I've fallen in love with. Regardless of what gender you'd be reincarnated into, I will always and only love you. I'll do whatever you wish and stay by your side until the end. No matter what happens, I will not betray you." Luka wrapped his arms around Yuki who was smiling through his tears.

"This time, I'll end this war and make sure that all of us get the happiness and peace that we deserve after suffering for so long."


End file.
